Weight loss talk is all around us in our world of information, and this month’s Pointe Fitness is no exception. When it comes to commenting on someone else’s noticeable weight loss, there is a compliment conundrum.

For many years, it was a widely accepted social norm to kindly compliment someone who has lost weight. Losing weight has simply been equated with improved health. There are many times that this is the case. Someone makes positive lifestyle changes and weight loss is a byproduct of those efforts. There are also, however, times when weight loss is a result of unhealthy circumstances or choices. This may include stress, grief, disordered eating, and any number of health conditions or illness.

So, what are we to do when we want to recognize healthy lifestyle choices that result in weight loss but also don’t really know the true circumstances and cause of that weight loss? There are plenty of us that are genuinely attempting to offer kind, positive reinforcement. There are a few things to consider before offering weight loss compliments.

Do you know the circumstances of the person’s weight loss?

This is the most important consideration. If you know the person well and have discussed goals, which many times does include weight loss, then it’s probably OK to recognize it. A blanket attempt for society to avoid recognizing weight loss with compliments is not the answer in these scenarios. There are also times when we should avoid being “weight-centric” in our comments and compliments. Not knowing the true cause of a person’s appearance change is a time when complimenting weight loss should be avoided. In cases in which you know the challenges overcome and the efforts put into accomplishing weight loss goals, letting that person know that it is noticeable and offering encouragement is appropriate.

Be aware of the timing of your compliment.

The phrase “walking on glass” comes to mind here. Simply being aware of the timing of your compliment is important. Whether with an individual or in a group setting, there may be those that struggle with body image. Hearing healthy or “good” being equated to looking a certain way, although inadvertent on your part, may be hurtful and only exacerbate their struggle. One can be healthy and still be clinically considered overweight. There are many more factors to health than body weight. If we continually equate a particular appearance and body size to being healthier, it is not only not true but can cause more harm to some.

When in doubt, compliment effort and personality traits over appearance.

In casual discussions, health and wellness compliments can be made that don’t boil down to appearance. Depending on the topic, here are some examples that encourage health and make it known that a person’s efforts are recognized.....

• “How do you find time for your workouts? I admire anyone that can make that a priority.”
• “You have some great healthy snack ideas.”
• “Your drive is amazing. That is something to be proud of.”

The idea is to recognize all that goes into improving health that does not focus on appearance.

The traditional way of complimenting someone who has lost weight can be counterproductive. Make sure you know the circumstances of the person’s change in appearance before praising them. If you are unaware of those circumstances, avoid weight focused compliments. If you equate health to a certain body size, that is antiquated. Health is much more than a person’s weight. Keep supporting and encouraging health but be mindful of others’ potential struggles of which you are unaware.